I'm Going To Be A Dad

Being a dad is something I've always wanted to be.

My mom has told me stories of when I was a young toddler and someone would ask me what I want to be when I grow up. 
My response was always the same- a mommy. 
I think this is reflective of two things. First, of my love and admiration of my mother. 
But especially of my lifelong ambition to be a good father to children of my own. It can sometimes come across strange, 
depending on who I mention it to, but the thought to care and love for another human being who I have that kind of 
connection with is greater in my eyes than any other endeavor one could pursue in this life.

The interesting thing about now anticipating an actual date when you will become a parent is the whole spectrum of emotions that you'd never experienced, or expected, when thinking of it. The terror, the anxiety, the joy, the business- it's so overwhelming sometimes. And I don't even have to carry the child, so I can't imagine how much more Afton holds inside.
But more than any of those feelings, it's mostly a sense of calm. Which sounds contradictory, but it's a lot like when you're doing something elaborate but special for another person. It can be hectic, even stressful. But when you take those moments to take a breather and consider what lies ahead and the joy that this stress is for, you take a deep breath and smile a soft, content smirk. 
It feels good.

My hope is that through this process, and especially once we bring this baby into the world, I write more on here sharing my experiences. Because it's starting to hit me that this will be a lifelong learning process that will change me. 
And I work best when I'm able to get my thoughts written down.
But I promise I'll try to keep it interesting.

Wish me luck.

There's The Rub.