Hearing What You Want To Hear

Humility begins with opening your heart to the answer: No.

A few years back I was having a conversation with a friend where her advice was not what I wanted to hear.
I had been dumped by a girl that I had gotten pretty serious with. When we were together, I thought for sure we would get married and it was good and it was right. We encounter some pretty big bumps as a couple and, though I would never admit it, the relationship didn't work anymore. So I got dumped.
But anyone who knows me knows that I don't like change and I am stubborn, even when it comes to relationships.
I am embarrassed to admit this, but I didn't like to let go of ex-girlfriends unless it was my idea to end it. Which is a pretty awful way to be, because it completely devalues the girl's feelings and decision to end it.
So anyway, I'm talking to my friend about the breakup and I begin to open up to her.
I tell her that I had prayed about it while we were dating. I would pray and pray and pray and finally I felt that, despite the issues that had come along in the relationship, we should stay together and it was good and it was right.
That's when my friend suggested that I was relying too much on the feelings I felt after praying.
She suggested that I was putting words into God's mouth just to fuel my stubbornness and fear to move on.
Needless to say, I was offended.
And then she reminded me of Joseph Smith.

(The following explanation is only to explain a point. If you are not of the LDS faith, I hope you'll continue to read because the message is still relevant I feel.)
In 1828 Joseph Smith, a prophet and founder of the LDS church, was in the process of translating the Book of Mormon from ancient writings. He was assisted by Martin Harris who acted as scribe. By this time, Joseph had dictated 116 manuscript pages of text. Harris was having marital problems with his wife, who was upset about not being able to see the plates that the writings were being translated from. Harris begged Joseph to ask God to allow him to take the translated pages to show his wife and others who evidently thought Martin was being deceived. The Prophet Joseph explained what happened: 

“I did inquire, and the answer was that he must not. However, he was not satisfied with this answer, and desired that I should inquire again. 
I did so, and the answer was as before. Still he could not be contented, but insisted that I should inquire once more. 
After much solicitation I again inquired of the Lord, and permission was granted him to have the writings on certain conditions; which were, that he show them only to his brother, Preserved Harris, his own wife, his father and his mother, and a Mrs. Cobb, a sister to his wife. In accordance with this last answer, I required of him that he should bind himself in a covenant to me in a most solemn manner that he would not do otherwise than had been directed. He did so. He bound himself as I required of him, took the writings, and went his way. 
Notwithstanding, however, the great restrictions which he had been laid under, and the solemnity of the covenant which he had made with me, he did show them to others, and by stratagem they got them away from him, and they never have been recovered unto this day” 

I believe that it is a crucial part of life to learn humility and a willingness to put others before you.
And in a more faith-centered way, one must learn to have faith in God enough to be willing to follow His plan- 
especially when that plan is not the plan you have wanted.
Humility begins with opening your heart to the answer: No.
And if you don't believe in the same things as me, maybe you don't even believe in God- the principle is the same.
Because we all need to learn selflessness.
We all need to learn to see a vision higher than our own. And to trust that vision.
I've said before of my own life and experiences that there were many times that I made the road to happiness longer 
just because I grew restless and veered off course towards something less satisfactory and far below my potential.
I often wonder what blessings and opportunities I delayed from my resistance and stubbornness.

A few months ago Afton and I began to feel an urge to begin preparing to buy a home.
This urging, we felt, was guidance and direction from our Heavenly Father and was not actually something we had considered to do right now. So we sat down and figured out numbers and how we can save and all those other details. We thought maybe, if we work hard to save, we could be ready to find a home at the beginning of 2014.
It was about 1 month later when one day I had a conversation with my friend Hunter about how we were saving up for a house. 
He mentioned to me some very helpful information that would help us with our down payment, 
making it possible to act sooner than intended. Literally the next day, we started hearing about how the housing market 
was coming around and how house prices were quickly rising. 
Afton and I thought about it and decided that, considering this situation, 
it wouldn't hurt to start looking right away instead of waiting 6 more months.
So we called our realtor and began looking at homes. I don't know about Afton, but I fully intended to spend the next few months looking at homes to figure out what we liked. But as we looked at homes, I kept feeling like something would come quickly that would be what we were looking for and what we needed at this time in our lives.
Sure enough, only 1 week after discussing what we were looking for- and after looking at only 6 homes- 
we found a house that was exactly what we wanted and what, we felt, was what we needed.
1 week after that, we have had our offer accepted and are awaiting our appraisal for the house.

Looking back now at the last month and a half since we first started feeling impressed to prepare, 
I'm amazed at how often Afton and I were directed, blessed, and given insight.  
Even if this house doesn't work out for whatever reason, I am confident that we went through these steps for a reason.

But what about that other house we loved that sold before we had a chance to put our bid in? 
What about our plans to wait till the end of the year so we could be more emotionally and financially prepared?
Or what about how badly I wanted to get a house in a certain neighborhood, different from this house?
Each night through this experience, we got on our knees and prayed that things would work out.
Often times we would ask for specific blessings.
And there were a few times, as stated above, when our requests would be answered with a "no".
But we had to trust that when things were going in a different direction than we had expected, that was the blessing and guidance we had been praying for. We had to trust in a vision higher and holier than our own and believe that life in different circumstances than we had planned was the happiness we had always hoped for.

I am really glad I was willing, at least this time, to accept "no" for His answer.
The payoff of obedience to God's will is then being able to see and recognize His hand in your life.

There's The Rub.