You Anchor Me

I got married.

The last time I shared my life in blog form was the day I got married.

I had kept up a Livejournal since I was in the eighth grade, and I always knew that I would no longer use it when I got married.

I felt like after that point I needed to begin from the start, because I would forever identify myself differently.

So it was that morning on March 9th that I woke up, dropped off my English paper at school, 
went to the school library and posted my final thoughts before I married Afton later that afternoon.

The experience of sharing my life with someone else, and being given that trust and responsibility by another, is equally challenging and strengthening. Just like anything else in life, every ounce of struggle I encounter helps me to grow and learn. 
It's only been less than 3 months now and I've learned more of myself
 and what's most important than any other 3-month period before.

Something they don't tell you about marriage?

I don't know if it's just in my case, but I imagine it's in all cases-

the hardest part of this new life is not the financial responsibilities 
or sharing important decisions or simply living together.

No, the hardest thing is caring so much for another person that you ache when they struggle. 
You hurt when they're hurting. 

Maybe this is a feeling others feel before marriage, but I've never really encountered it in this degree. I have never cared for another more than myself. Until now I don't know that I controlled my selfishness enough to let that happen.

You become invested in their joy.

So you can imagine the peace you feel when you see them smile, hear them laugh, feel their body relax.

It's a good way to live.

There's The Rub.